Jukebox Etiquette By Angry Pub Guy

It’s Monday night and I’m beat. The day has been long, the child has been cranky and it’s been one of those times when I can only find ¾ of the stuff I’m looking for in the house. So when 9PM rolls around it’s time to bundle the baby off to bed with Mom and hit my local watering hole.

I’ve brought a book, I’ve got my beer, there are 35cent wings in abundance… and the Jukebox is playing some god awful tune from the 80s. Not just any kind of 80s music though, the type where pink spandex and teased hair fight it out with a Casio for most annoying object in sight. I think… OK, this will end. After all, there is always the next song.

Ten songs later I’m still listening to an never ending stream of show tunes, Paula Abdul and what I can only term as ‘gay-pop’ for lack of a more PC adjective (I’m not terribly PC to begin with, so don’t bother writing me because I don’t care). Over at the far end of the bar three guys are continuing to throw down at least $30 into the Jukebox to keep the pink pussy cat music alive and kicking. The locals are groaning. I’m getting distracted from my calm. Everyone is looking at each other as if to say, “If you don’t pull the plug out of the wall I will… after I finish this beer.”

Long story short, there has to be some sort of Etiquette for this sort of situation. In a perfect world, my favorite bar tender would have been on duty that night and he would have pulled the machine off the wall and kicked it down the street. However he wasn’t and so I’m left to ponder what is the flash point when a regular patron stands up and cries out for justice? And who does he cry to, if you’re stuck with a wishy washy bartender?

A group of people can not simply monopolize the Jukebox for hours on end. It’s not right. It’s not American. Going the bar should include an eclectic mix of music that fits the crowd. If you’re not a regular at a bar you should have the good taste not to subjugate the entire room to your taste in music, no matter if it’s good or bad.

In retaliation I put up Freebird, Fuel and Patience, which gave me enough time to finish my drinks and get out of there before the happy plastic music came back. Calm ruined.